Taqwa

2007-03-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

We played our last soccer game of the indoor season last night, even though we lost we played as a team i felt. In the first half we came out strong our passing was crisp, we were communicating. I think the only reason we lost was because we fell short in our conditioning. Khair inshallah, i felt we left on top.

Now to Basketball allhamduAllah and our second season we have finished third (last season we finished last). WE going up against a sold team though. WE are playing the second place team in our league in a best of three series. Whoever if anyone who reads this blog should come out and support your Muslim brothers.

March 14 Edmonton Christian 8:45 Wildcats vs Al-Ikhwan
March 17 Holy Trinity 9:30 am Al-Ikhwan vs Wildcats

2007-02-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

I remember this time last year, Breaking Borders was in full flight we were, organizing a play to do in the rotunda, we were providing food for one of the lunches in the rotunda, we were organizing t-shirts for the club. I compare it to this year and me not even being able to attend or help out IAW. Why? Well i guess the easiest excuse and that everyone uses is that i am busy.
I guess i to can just get out of critiquing myself by saying"

I am in University,
I work
I am married
I play soccer
I play Basketball
In then other extra curricular as well.

That’s the easy way out but that doesnt make it the right way. I look back over these couple of weeks and actually count the hours i wasted, in knowing if i did that then maybe i could have helped the brother/sisters. Helped the Ummah, spread Islam, make a difference in peoples life, Look i have enough time to sit here for a couple of minutes and express my feelings. Ohh how much time i waste, where i could make a difference in the Ummah. I guess if i learn from my mistake and start taking more advantage of my time, then it was good to fall, but if i stay on the ground then indeed i have made a huge mistake and ask Allah swt to forgive me with his Mercy.

Nikahh

2006-11-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

Inshallah this is a Public Invite to my nikah on Dec 1 @ Markaz ul Islam after Jummah Salaat.
Everyone is welcome to come, and don't forget make duuah.

Education

2006-09-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Thank you for I love you, thank you for understanding me, thank you for being there for me, but all thanks and praises go to Allah for making us meant to be for each other

What am I doing with my life, I have been mock by my family and friends countless of times, them hoping that one of there jokes would be taking serious and I turn my back on education, but why, I had the aspirations of being a teacher, all my life, but why, i realized my passion and goal in life is to save the world, like how our prophet did, that how he regretted to see a Jewish man pass away because he felt that he left a soul to escape him. How do you save the world then, you educate yourself, than others, which will produce a domino effect, and now what’s the best way to educate others... Let me see go into education where you have a significant impact on the kids life you teach.

I remember in grade 8, i had such a bad rep with teachers, I was always getting kicked out of class because i was always disrupting the class with jokes and yelling out the answers and other words i was the class clown, but one day i was sitting paying attention to my teacher when i kid behind me said i stupid joke my teacher looked at me and asked me to go to the principal office, i hated him soo much and i created a huge commotion of and claming injustice was done and I would not leave, luckily the bell rang for lunch, and my teacher asked me to stay, we started talking about my behaviour and why i acted the way i did. I told him that it wasn’t right of you to just judge me on my past and that you should have asked me, he looks at me and he says “your right” those two words changed how i acted in his class i gained overwhelming respect for him and always wanted to please him. I started to be the best student in his class, homework completed in time, on time for class, had good manners the whole works, i wished it translated to my other classes but that never happened till i encountered I B but that’s another story.

When i go back in look at my life and see how teachers made a difference in my life i feel this tremendous sense that i could have an positive impact on a kids life, that every semester that i teach 100 students if i can at least have a positive impact on one of their lives than I have made a difference and which inshallah will get me closer to Allah (SWT).

2006-09-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

It's Official

Allhamdulillah

2006-09-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You

"There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way." Unkown

2006-09-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

Faith teaches us Trust,
Trust Builds Brotherhood,
Brotherhood creates Unity,
Unity is Victory.

2006-09-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” George MacDonald

2006-09-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

"Three passions have governed my life: The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, But always pity brought me back to earth; Cries of pain reverberated in my heart Of children in famine, of victims tortured And of old people left helpless.

I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living. " By Bertrand Russell

F Random W

2006-08-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

"I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see. I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true. I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world. And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart."

LOL just being random needed to update my blog.

2006-08-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

"Don't tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you have traveled." — Mohammed

2006-08-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

What to do in University???????

Returning Inshallah

2006-07-28T07:42:00.001-07:00

I am returning on july 31st 2 pm inshallah, i wonder if i have been forgotten in the city i was born in, with the brothers i grew up with and learned from, i wonder if i wont fit in . if i would be lost. I wonder if i was remebered or if it was ""too bad hes gone "" and then they continue on with there life without thinking twice about me. Its an amazing reminder to know that one should do everything for Allah and only Allah. That no one should help someone to befriend that person, that no one should make amazing speeches for fame, that no one should be in the mosque five times prayer in order to get married. That when you die even your closets friends forget you, your parents forget you. ONLY Allah swt of will always be with you and He will never foget you. Thats why whatever you do in life you do it for Allah.

On the day of judgement no one is going to come to your aid and ask Allah for His mercy upon you except for Prophet Muhammad PBUH. Your parents will forget you, and only think about themselves. No one in this world will care about you on that day.

I didnt write this post in order for people to start hating the world and not do anything for the betterment of humanity, but in order to remind myself to make sure i always have the right intentions that whatever i do in this world should be for Allah swt and that is the best way to get the best of both worlds.

Look at life in two looking glass: One live life if your going to die any second and going to face your lord.Second live life if your going to live for eternity this way your going to get the best of both worlds.

2006-07-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Saw the Pyramids yestrday, it was hectic, i had to tell the guy i was tunisian because the jack up the prices for forginers, LOL but this time we didnt get hussled we hussled them i payed 10 cents Candian for the whole experince. Write about it more later but rite now i have to go for Maghrib.

2006-07-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

France vs Portugal

That should be an excellent match, got invited to watch the game at a classmate houes, should be fun but wont be the same as watching the game with the brothers at home, i miss watching these kind of games with the brothers. I miss the brothers, i miss Edmonton, but AllhamduAllah everything is great here, i am enjoying it the classes are intense and wow, Egpyt is different ill write more about in a later post cuz rite now i am going to go eat then hit up the game iA.

2006-07-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

Dreaming?

2006-06-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

The reality of me leaving to Egypt has just hit me. I am going to Egypt tomorrow at 7. What will I be doing there, studying and trying to get my basics down for Arabic, maybe a tajweed course. I also want to see another country how people act, the different culture. I want to know how am I going to react to being independent. I am going by myself and staying with a roommate (I have no idea who it will be). I have to provide my own food. I have to learn how to travel. I need to learn how to ask for help, how to present myself. This sounds I dunno cheesy but a major reason I want to go, is to hear the Adhan for Fajr, to wake up and walk to mosque everyday. I believe when u travel you get a new insight on things, I believe me traveling to Egypt well make me realize how lucky I am to have a family and friends to help me out every step of the way.

2006-06-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

Ask Allah sincerly for Forgivness and He will listen.

2006-06-14T01:53:00.000-07:00

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

2006-06-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Marriage is the union of two souls, two families, two different ways of thinking, the union of a community, that when you get married within your community it strengthens it.

Farewell Party

2006-06-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my 18th bday and what can I say, I am still speechless. Over the past 18 years I have never done anything great on my bday nor did I ever want to. Sometimes I would forget my bdays on purpose because I would revaluate myself and see how I haven’t benefited the world to my full potential. This year though, it was different.

I walk in the school, around 9 in the morning, my eyes barley open because we had relatives over and they left around 2 30. I walk into the Harry Ainlay hallway, in a see a huge banner on my locker written “Happy Birthday Brother Nawid”. I read the comments, smiled, remembered the memories of those inside jks, Then I went to the library and again totally forgot about my bday and thought about my upcoming Eng exam. I studied hard for two hours and then went and I think AllhamduiAllah aced the exam.
Lunch was next, I was walking around waiting for Youcef and Yawer, so that we could go out and eat at subway. During the lunch people where acting kind of strange and I thought maybe something is up. But I was like nah probably not, so we should just go eat. Yawer was like okay lets go but lets get Hammad he in this room. We where walking to the room and the door is lock and the lights are off. It just totally didn’t occur to me, that there could be people they’re waiting for me. I was like Yawer no Hammad’s not there and started walking the other way. Until Yawer opens the door and Youcef chucks me into the classroom. I was astonished, speechless, and I looked at all my friends and bonds I have made over the past year. I didn’t say anything, I tried saying thank you, but my voice wasn’t loud enough. We had some cake and then a couple of close friends of mine, gave me gifts. I got a basketball ball, Colon (I wonder what kind of msg they are trying to give me), Gel and I also got a travel guidebook, I loved all the presents, and none of them needed to get me a present. The travel journal gift was the best, I want to go to a village sometime and just live with them, learn from them, that’s why this journal is priceless, but I don’t want to go by myself I want a companion to travel with me. I want my companion to see the world with me. For that I need to get Married, but yea that’s another post.

I know the rulings for Bday parties, and I have my own decisions after doing a little research, but I never once felt this as a bday party, it was more a farewell party, that I was leaving them and I think they wanted to thank me. The card they choused for me was priceless it says

“Sometimes we may not realize that everything we do affects not only our lives but touches others, too. A little touch of thoughtfulness that shows someone care creates a bit of happiness for both of you to share… And every time you offer someone a helping hand, every time you show someone you care and understand. Every time you have a kind and gentile word to give, you help someone find beauty in this precious life we live.”

The day went on, I began getting more and more emotional and realizing I am leaving this school and like a week, and I guess feared and understand some of the bonds of friendship are going to be broken. Everyone though everyone was telling me that you going to get better, that changes is not bad and I understand that but I am bad with departing, that’s probably why I want to stay in Edmonton with the ikhwan boyz, but I understand the older we get some of our paths might converge and some might diverge that’s life.

It was Jummah time, my last khutbaa. I forgot my paper that I had the format and evidence for the speech at home. My last but first khutbaa, I was nervous of speaking. I stood up in front of everyone said the intro of the speech, than paused. Looked at everyone, my heart started racing, and I just wanted to say thank you to all of them, some of them think I changed there lives but they don’t know the affect they had on my life and the affect they had on their own life. My khutbaa after that was terrible my mind was shut off; my heart went through a day of emotional ups and downs. My message was to tell them to believe and themselves to follow their principals and change the world for a better place.

After that went home and slept I was exhausted. Halaqa was at 7 45 went an listen the speech was good, the msg I picked out from it that we shouldn’t try to always discontinue other ppls hard work but instead to continue it and make it grow to new levels.

Then the brothers went out to Mona’s, I really didn’t feel like talking, just something on my mind, something that I wanted to do on that day but never had the opportunity to do, and when I did, I would have looked really bad. The brothers did have interesting talks and I enjoyed listening to them, and learning from them.

That was my day, kind of busy but enjoyable

So much more to write about, to little time, I got catch up with eng.
Salaams

2006-06-10T11:22:00.001-07:00

2006-06-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

2006-06-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

2006-06-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

2006-06-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

2006-06-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

Had no idea what to say but Thank you

History book

2006-06-08T18:31:00.000-07:00

Salaams, today i had a semi like interview with one of the history teachers, we talked about the book in my segment in the book. I also convinced him to put a segment about Breaking Borders. It was funny he showed me my first draft which was written four-five months ago and asked me if i wanted to change anything. I looked at and saw how relevent it was to whats happening these days. I am open to any advice about my first draft.
The First draft:
I feel that Muslim students are being afraid to express who they are. They are beginning to try to hide their identity in order for them not to be a target in today’s society. They fear that if they, express who they are, they would lose many opportunities in life. I feel. The religion and those who follow it correctly should not be labeled as those who claim they are Muslim but yet, don’t follow the rules and guidelines which Islam has laid down. These days there are stereotypes on Muslim in the challenge for every Muslim student is to prove to them that those stereotypes are false. That instead of assimilating in forgetting who we are or isolating and taking violent means to insure their security or that they don’t get oppressed we teach, We give awareness to the community to what Muslims are really like. Muslims student’s challenges are not the negative comments or people being biased to them. It’s about spreading awareness to the community and teaching the world what Muslims are really about. I believe that stereotypes, negative comments and actions toward a group of people come through fear. Fear comes through lack of knowledge. So in order for Muslims to make differences they have to spread knowledge to the world what Islam is all about? This could be through many means, starting a club, dialogues or even an individual not being scared to of expressing his/her identity and showing people of how he is not a threat to society. It’s amazing to be in a multicultural school because it’s like a mini world. Where you have different nations under one roof, wherein in order to have the school flourish, you need to learn about the people around you. There’s so much potential in a multicultural school to change the world, because when something outrageous happens in the world in its blame on a religion, a person well say well that’s not true because I know so and so and he’s apart of that religion and he would never do such a thing.

2006-06-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

My last Jummah Khutbaa of the year is coming up this Friday, coincidently the same day as my birthday. When I prepare for jummah khutbaa I look at my faults and how I can change them, and then write a khutbaa on that. Hence this khutbaa I look at the past year at Harry Ainlay high school, the toughest year of my life, I know it’s only my 17th and almost 18th but this was the toughest year. I did something different though instead of looking at the negatives of this year, I looked at the positives, and saw of course with Allah’s help, how much we accomplish as a school, as our mini Ummah. Therefore I realized this dream, these accomplishments, would have never succeeded if we didn’t believe in ourselves, if we didn’t have hope. The last khutbaa of mine is going to be about “impossible is nothing” (thx addidas). I want to tell the brothers and sisters that whatever you want to do in this life you can achieve, The only obstacle and barriers u have, is what u set. When u began thinking and believing in yourself then the next step, is what ur going to devout your time to, what are u going to take to new levels, and that’s when my brother sheriff steps in. Two khutbaaas left, I am actually going to miss Ainlay, I am going to miss how we are so tight, that we had an Ummah. Khair Inshallah, U of A, has a bigger Ummah more brothers to spread the love with.

“Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”

Love for Allah

2006-05-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

Another sleepless night, last night after having an amazing FC AI united soccer practice and watching an unreal game of Hockey, Smyth is a warrior out there, I tried to go to sleep, I even tried some of Muntaka’s yoga advice, but my mind was clutter with thoughts. My heart pierced with pain. Why? Because of me: because I care way too much. These days I have been really disappointed with myself, I had such ambitious dreams for Ainlay but I did not achieve any of them. I failed. I made these goals to please Allah and earn is Love but I Failed. In front of my creator, I wanted Ainlay our mini Ummah to be an example to all other schools. Then the youth could spread the message to their family and friends. That Edmonton would be affected, that this change would, flourish and transalate to Alberta, then to Canada then to the entire humanity. What change am I talking about, the change to love Allah. That you would be able to sacrifice anything or anyone for Allah. This change if I would tell you, Allah would be displease with u, if u backbite, u would stop that instant because of the love you have for Allah (Swt) if I would tell you to wear the Hijab because Allah swt prescribed on you u, u would not think twice. That you would strive for the knowledge of Islam no matter how tired u are or how far it may be. That you would marry a man/women just because u know he/she loves Allah and that u would not marry a man/women just because u know he/she would ask u to displease Allah. We need to change how we think. If u want to bring change to the society then u cannot think as the norm of the society thinks. We always think about ourselves first before Allah. We make excuses over and over again when it comes to pleasing Allah why. Anyone can make excuses, I can make an excuse for anything, I can justify anything but that doesn’t mean I am right.

I have been hurting these days, which is my fault because I care to much. I care that I haven’t made a profound change in people’s life. That maybe the way I advice is wrong, maybe I should not be as patience, no, no that wouldn’t work, maybe I should confront them more no, no that wouldn’t work, I don’t know what to do, I care too much for people its hurting when I try to help a sister overcome any obstacles that they have in there way to worship Allah such as wearing the Hijab and they don’t, I feel like I failed and its hurts because I care for that sister but yet she is disobeying mine and her creator. Or that brother where I try to convince him to stop drinking and he doesn’t, it hurts because I love that brother. It’s been hurting looking at Ainlay and seeing how I didn’t have a profound affect on people on how I failed in the sight of Allah. On how I believed it was this generation that would raise the flag of Islam and teach the world what is Islam is truly about. That it would be this generation to destroy the cultural bonds, that it would be this generation to destroy hatred for there brother and sisters, It would be this generation that would put Allah before themselves. That they would care what would Allah swt thinks of them instead of society. It’s so easy and everyone says it but, how many of us truly love Allah and if u do prove it through your actions, Allah sends down test for u in order for u to prove ur love for him. So whatever your test maybe put Allah swt before urself, put Allah which u love so dearly before urself.

Last night I was wondering if it was my fault, maybe I should have never took the leadership position in Ainlay, maybe if I let someone else carry the torch of Islam that he would have brought greater change. But then I was reading an email and a brother reminded me of a Hadith "The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak...but there is good in all; be vigilant for what is to your benefit, seek Allah's Help and do not despair; and if something befalls you along the way, do not say, 'If I had done such and such, this or that would have happened', rather say, 'It is Allah's will, and He does whatever He pleases', because 'if' opens the doors of shaytan." (Hadith) I gave it my all, Allah swt, I try to earn ur love I am sorry that I failed and ask for ur forgiveness. I tried to give the best and sincere advices to the best of my ability, in the best and wises of manners. I tried to lead by example, I tried to be patience but persistent, I tried not to force anyone to worship you but for them to come on there own. I tried my best Allah and please forgive for any of my shortcoming, I am human, and I ask forgiveness to anyone I offended or hurt ever in my life forgive me.

P.s Just a request I left the comment section open for people to give me constructive criticism on how I should act or react, so plz leave a comment if it is going to help me in the future or now, Plz don’t try to praise me because it only hurts when I know I am unworthy of those praises and if there has been any changes in your life its from Allah( SWT).

Skipping

2006-05-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

I have been skipping way too much these last few weeks, why well there are many reasons. I have been going through a lot of problems and allhamduAllah many of them I have solved or in the process of solving, There have been a significant amount of people who have came up to me and gave me there advice of me skipping and I want to say jazaakumullkhair and I am also thankful to Allah for giving me such brothers/sisters who care so much for me. Like for example today I got a phone call on my cell phone from my teacher, thanks to my cousin Yawer, but hey I knew it was my teacher and I stilled picked up. I could hear the laughter of the classroom in the background, at first I was pissed of at my good old buddy but I realize he did it for me. Which was indeed a huge load of my shoulders, my teacher just asks me to come to his class tomorrow. There’s been countless of others who have done the same for me and who have advised me to stop skipping, some tried to drag me to class, some yelled, some stop talking to me, and some tried to inform me in a jokingly matter. But in the end there all right and inshAllah I am going to make an effort, to not to skip after this weekend is up.

There’s one thing that gets to me that 80% of the people who advice me to stop skipping think I am at home sleeping and not doing anything that I don’t feel like going to school.
I admit there’s been three of four times where I have skipped for no good reason, but the rest of the time I am at home doing things, like what? Well I wish I could tell the world but I don’t want to complain and have anyone to sympathize for me. There are many others who are going through way more tribulations than me and they deserve your sympathy and help. Life is beautiful and I am just going to continue on life and make an effort to cross all hurdles. Everyone has challenges in life, but its how we react to those challenges, my life’s been great and these last three weeks have been the best because I have learned so much and it has added to the mustered seed of wisdom I posses. Youcef said it the best on msn. Our conversation was something to the effect of

Youcef: How’s life
Nawid: tough I have this and this to do and all these problems to figure out.
Youcef: Go to your teacher and tell him that you where skipping and then catch up on all your homework.
Nawid: Yeah only if life was the simple
Youcef: well then it wouldn’t be life.

Something on those lines but that got to me, Thanks Youcef I couldn’t do my homework after that, because I was thinking about his statement, its so true if we weren’t faced with tribulations how would we learn about life, how would we feel life, overcoming challenges its another blessing from Allah (SWT).

2006-05-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

"Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together. "
Vincent Van Gogh

William Shakespeare

2006-05-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare."
Sonnet 130

I was going through some Shakespeare sonnets when this one caught my eye. When I first read it I was disgusted and thought to myself how is this love. What kind of romance is this? But I read over and over again and now I truly appreciate this masterpiece of art. We tend to compare our loved ones to the beauties of nature and praise them with comparing the human to the qualities of nature, but how many have compared a love one for who she really is. That she does not have eyes such as the sun, the reddest lips, fairest of breasts, the golden silky hair, the rose’s of cheeks, her breath is not the scent of perfume and her voice does not sound more pleasing then music. She’s just human, she’s not a goddesses, but u love her, you love her regardless of her beauty you love to see her, you love to hear, you love to be with her, that she is the best thing to you, that’s true love, when u can love a person for their flaws.

2006-04-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Great leaders are the ones who know when to follow.

Teaching

2006-04-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

I love teaching, its an amazing feeling, I hope I make a difference in these kids life’s.Yesterday we were discussing the importance of prayer and why we pray. I ask the kids who love Allah with great passion all there hands shoot up and the yelled I do. I said again and I got a louder reply. Then I was like who prays fajr, silence took over; a few hands went up hesitantly. Then a student of mine looked at me and said wait that doesn’t make sense, since one of the reason we pray is because we love Allah but then why don’t we wake up for Fajr. She took the words right out of my mouth. Then all the kids began thinking; it was one of the most productive classes and they ask some intelligent questions. The system today doesn’t really tap into these kids potential. I gave theses kids a research project Gr .10 level assignment and I wanted to see how they respond. I wasn’t expecting anything great but there presentations were amazing. They roused up to the challenge. All I know is I love teaching and I hope to make a difference and those kids life.

2006-04-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

I need to change, I need to set goals for myself, i need to reflect on my life, this weekend was terrible i didn’t do anything productive. I just sat there and watch playoff games, it was terrible and i hate this feeling of disappointment and the feeling that i wasted two days of my life. I need to get into a routine; i need to divide my time for Islamic work, sports, school and family/friends. I need to get into the routine i had in December that i was always busy doing something productive. I dunno tonight inshAllah i am going to make a short-term plan and a long term plan. I need to make a difference. First obstacle that i need to overcome is sleep. I love sleep so much but it takes away so much time. I need to be discipline and stop sleeping in. Last week i slept in every single day. Change, i need to reflect and do something i need to start memorizing Quran and reading books. Here actually lets not waste anymore time i am going to set rough goals right now!

Memorize at least 3 ayats a day with translation
Read Quran with Tafsir at least for an hour
Go to Aunty house at least twice a week
Join track and be committed four times a week
Soccer season, train with cousin four times a week
Read a book for at least an hour
Any left over time do my homework.

I think that should make me busy, allhamduAllah now I need to go and actually plan short-term goals and long-term goals and work for it inshAllah.

2006-04-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

I had a strange dream last night. A group of us went camping; we reached the camping ground and unloaded our sleeping bags. There was a sister there who keeps on, ignoring me at school and just acting very rudely to me. She was there and as the days went by she just kept on being a whatever and I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I began on ignoring her as well, I tried to be patience and all but it just wasn’t working. I went one day without talking to her, but that night at the camp a brother notice and came up and started to talk to me, because he realized what was going on, this brother always, I dunno how maybe since I ve known him forever, knew what I am thinking, he advices me to be kind and patience and that I don’t know what the girl is going through and also that she could be doing this for me. I couldn’t understand at first what he meant by she is doing this for me. Many people have told me that she is being mean to u, harsh to u ,not because she hates you but because she not necessarily likes u but for ur own good, in order for u to continue on with your life.

That night it was weird I had a dream within a dream and I dreamt about a simple speech by a scholar talking about always giving the benefit of the doubt to your brother and sister in Islam, which result in not hating on another, and I just gave a khutba on grudges. So I gave her the benefit for the doubt and I began actually smiling and being nice to her. It was not out of me forcing myself like before to be patience, but naturally.

Then it was time to go or something I vaguely remember and so we started to clean up, she walks in the room and starts to put the plates away, I saw she was getting uncomfortable with me in the room with her, so I decided to leave the room, and I began fixing up the carpet in the other room, she came in the other room and started insulting up my cleaning job, I don’t remember the words exactly but I didn’t say anything back I just smiled and said sorry. Then in the spur of the moment she throws the plates on the carpet and begins cursing me and saying all these words of how much she hates me and how I ruined her life and how much her life is better off without me and how she wished she never met me before. I stood there shocked, I couldn't take anymore, I wanted to flip out on her I wanted to tell her how much she hurt me, how much she put me through and yet I was never harsh to her and yet I never made her feel guilty, I never intentionally tried to hurt her. I saw this sister in the background and because of her I caught my tongue and I stormed out of the room. I went into the room where all the uncles and aunties where and she followed me and she started crying and yelling why are u so nice, why don’t u hate me because I hate u and then she left room her face wet with all the tears she had shed, all the aunties and uncles gave me a confused look but I couldn’t care less of what they thought of me In that situation. I chased her she went into the girls cabinet lucky there was no girls in the cabinet and I followed her, she looked me into the eye and said she was sorry for all the things she’s done to me at school, for treating me the way she did. I told her I forgive u and I told her the best way of solving something is by facing it and confronting it even if it hurts but it wont leave a mark because u well face it and pass it, she agreed and gave me hug, then my sister walk in and when she saw what’s was happening she jump for joy, her smile was priceless she want out and told my parents, My parents entered the room and a bunch of people followed them curious to what was going on, everyone that was close to me was in that room at that moment. My Father ask for her hand at that moment and she grab my hand everyone was happy jumping up and down all my friends where like u did it u got married young to someone u love so dearly.

Then Sheena woke me up, I woke up with this feeling that no, that wasn’t the ending, with this feeling that she didn’t want to get married with me that she didn’t love me. I closed my eyes once again and I was trying to get back into the dream, semi sleep I got back into the dream but I felt like I created it and it was my imagination but I was not in my full senses, because I was sleeping. Anyhow when we came back to Edmonton, I toke her into the mosque and I ask her that do u want to get married to me she said yes but I didn’t believe her I told her that this is ur future and do what u want with it I am happy with ur decision., she looks at me in the eyes and says no I don’t want to marry u I never wanted to marry u. I thought I did but it was away to get away from my problems. I am sorry but I never had feeling for u. That hurt, that was painful tormenting but I needed that, I said that’s life, u don’t always get what u want but that doesn’t not mean u start hating life or quitting on life. I agree with ur decision and I will talk to my parents and call the marriage off. I have only request is that we act as brothers and sisters to on another and not carry grudges or hate. She agreed and that’s when my mom walked in. I woke up and jotted everything down on a scrap piece of paper.

Harith in on of the Halaqa said if u has a good dream tell it to people and if u have had a bad dream it’s from Shaytan and don’t tell anyone. What do I classify this dream. I had an ambiguous feeling even though it was just a dream it’s happening to me rite now. I dunno I was hurt after I got up but I was at peace. That’s why maybe I wrote it so that I realize that I give the person the benefit of the doubt and I move on with my life. Khair inshallah I don’t want to be a captive of my imagination or a prisoner of my memories. Its what I do today which is going to matter.

A wonderful feeling

2006-04-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Love, what is love, whom should we give our love to, is love like business that we always look for our profit, that we don’t dare love someone unless we have the love returned. Too many times have a seen relationships go wrong but that’s not what gets to me, its how the people react to it. You love someone and you want to get married but for some reason out of your control, it doesn’t work out. What happens then, some people replace their love with hate, that’s the way they comprehend the pain. Others just try to forget that they ever loved someone and try to ignore the person. Some people don’t quit they try to get their love through any means. I personally disagree with any of these means; I think one should act normally, towards the person, because in the end they are still your brother or sister in Islam. I believe that nothing in this earth happens coincidence that whatever you go through there is always something valuable you can learn from it, but u have to be cautious, with what u believe u learned. I remember thinking all girls are players and they are heartless. Which of course it wrong, well somewhat, but no i learn something great, i learned the strength of love, i learned the importance of loving my creator. I use to worship Allah because i feared him or because i wanted the reward. But worshiping him is soo much sweeter when u worship him out of love. Love is such a beautiful feeling and i am going to love people regardless if they return the love or not, of course there’s different degrees of love, like i don’t understand some people why hate when u can love. Maybe because its easier on hating on someone then being loving, maybe its easier to flip out on someone instead of looking at them patently and smiling, I don’t know but love is beautiful, and life is beautiful my life has been amazing these past few days, some ppl at school think i am high because i am always smiling and it isn’t a fake smile that i have been putting on for the past few months but its from the heart. It’s the best feeling when u look in the depths of your heart and you have no hate for anyone and you don’t have any grudges to anyone. I dunno Allah gave us soo many blessings and love is just another blessing from Allah. Things happen in life, which does not mean you start hating.

2006-03-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

I hate this feeling! That feeling when you give a 100% effort but still fall short. Today i had a chem exam, and in order for me to get honors with distinction this term i needed to get 95% on this test. I studied hard, three days, that's way too much for me. I usually never study and if i do it’s on the day of the exam. This exam was different i studied and i knew everything, i knew more than what i needed to know. I did a couple of unit exams of the key before i went and allhamduiAllah i got 96 and 93 percent. I felt confident going into the exam. I went in i was going through the questions like usual pretty simple, but then a chem class came in to do a lab. I just ignored the noise continued on writing my exams. I began doubting myself, with the previous questions, so i went back to check them, Then i started to run out of time. i don’t know it was chaotic. I think i failed that exam, all my efforts gone down the drain. Then to add icing on the day i had, i had a brother accuse me of him missing his Zhur prayer. I don’t know i had enough and i flip out on him. But he took it well allhamduiallah; actually all i wanted was for him to say sorry. All i wanted was for him to catch me. Sometimes u don’t get what, you want but that’s life and we have to choices either i sulk here and give up because i didn’t get that honors with distinction, and let a brother be angry with me. Or i can put a smile on and realizes that we can plan but if is not what Allah plan then its never happening and i also should go and patch up my brotherhood, because even though he didn’t say anything and still had a smile on his face. Sometimes thing u say will hurt someone and simply apologizing sincerely, would heal the pain.

Article

2006-03-21T17:25:00.000-08:00

Trials and Tribulations: Exercise for our Soul
By. Saman Ahmed

A cocoon stirs with signs of life. An opening appears, and you watch as the winged creature inside struggles to emerge from a small tear in the sack of life. Striving to free itself, the butterfly labors for what seems an eternity. You reflect on how easy it would be to simply break off the rest of the cocoon, thus aiding the butterfly with an easy passage to a new world. Gently tearing the rest of the cocoon, you stare in wonder as the creature crawls out with little effort. You wait patiently for it to spread its wings and take flight, but the butterfly only drags its swollen body and shriveled wings around in the dirt. It never does take flight and spends the rest of its life crawling around, weak and crippled. When you thought you were helping the butterfly, you were actually preventing it from a necessary struggle, a struggle that would force fluid from its body into its wings so that it could be ready to fly, once out of the cocoon. The hardship it would go through would, in turn, make it stronger in life.
The parable I just related to you is a fairly popular metaphor, often used as a tool in inspirational talks about overcoming obstacles. But what does it mean to the Muslim? It means that if Allah (SWT) allowed us to sail through life without hardship, it would weaken us. Every trial we go through – every family problem, financial problem, every bout of illness – has the potential to make us stronger in the end.

As difficult as it may be to understand, there is goodness in all our trials. Suhaib reported that Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it." What we learn from this hadith is that there really is a silver lining to every cloud. That is, in His infinite mercy, Allah (SWT) has made it possible for something positive to come out of a seemingly negative situation. If we turn to Allah (SWT) and approach our hardships with patience and restraint, then certainly something good will come out of them, whether it is in this life, the Hereafter, or both.

So, how does pain amount to pleasure? Think back to the first time you went to the gym. You lifted weights, jogged on the treadmill, and came home exhausted and sore and wondering what lapse of sanity caused you to go to the gym in the first place. But you always return because obviously all those chiseled biceps and impeccable pecs you were surrounded by were not a result of lying on the sofa. As time goes on, the pain is always there – the burning muscles, the aching limbs – but it becomes easier and easier to endure and harder and harder to reach your threshold, to break a sweat. And, you finally start to notice the muscle mass you've gained, not to mention the extra strength and energy you always have. What you once considered painful is now simply a means to a desired goal, something painful you must endure to attain physical strength. Similarly our souls are, in a sense, in need of struggle. Trials and tribulations are a form of exercise for our soul. We must go through the pain and endure it patiently to attain our ultimate goal, Jannah. And, if trials and tribulations are exercise for our soul, then the more we go through them, all the while exercising patience and trusting in Allah's decree, the stronger our souls become. Suddenly the small worries and problems that pop up in life seem like no big deal. Why? Because we have increased our soul's threshold to bear afflictions. It will now take bigger problems for us to really break a sweat.

We must notice that the key element here is to bear hardship with patience. And to do that, we should recognize that the hardship or affliction is by the decree of Allah. We must restrain ourselves from complaining and lamenting and remember that our final return is to Him. Allah says: "Give glad-tidings to those who have sabr. Those who - when afflicted with an affliction - say: Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return. They are those on whom are the blessings from their Lord and His mercy. They are the ones who are guided"(2:155-157). In this ayah, Allah (SWT) makes clear what kind of people are rewarded with glad-tidings and are under His guidance. It is none other than those who accept their affliction with patience, as a test from Allah (SWT), and recognize that we indeed belong to Him and shall consequently return to Him. Try and remember this ayah the next time you are faced with an unexpected trial in life. Instead of unleashing a vicious string of profanities and cursing everything under the sun, simply say Innalilahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return). This phrase will serve as a beautiful reminder, a reminder of where you come from and where you will ultimately end up, thus making your problem seem a little less dire in the larger scope of things.

How lucky am i?

2006-03-19T20:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life we get so caught with all the tribulations where facing, that we forget all the good things we have in life. Something that i would never give up, is that brotherhood. Always having brothers supporting you. Actually to be honest and having those sisters priceless advice. Whether it is about marriage, standing up for my principals or never giving up. They’re always giving me, supporting me and directing me to the right path. I can’t believe how fortunate am i to have such brothers and sisters. There always there for me, they’re always giving me advice, they are always there to catch me every time I fall.

Sometimes we forget the blessings of Allah and sulk about the test where going through. How ungrateful slaves are we to Allah. You have giving us sooo much and have promised us sooo much more and yet we complain and yet we don’t worship and yet we don’t love u and yet we makes excuses so that we may not serve u. I look back at my life and look at the people who i love. Why do i love these people? My parents because they raised me and provide for me. My brothers and sisters who are always there watching my back. Then i looked at what i could do for my parents. I realized when u love someone u can do anything for them. U will sacrifice anything for them. Do I love Allah, from the bottom of my heart? Allah has given me everything He is everything. He gave me life, I can only turn to him for help, and He Has all the answers. Yet why don’t I sacrifice my time for Him? Why don’t i get up in the middle of the night and pray Tahajid. What kind of slave am I. Why do we hesitate to do something for Allah? When we don’t think twice to do something in this world for a loved one. How lucky am i? This world is a test to see how much we love Allah, The more we claim. The more Allah tests us. Why can Romeo sacrifice his life for Juliet and we cant sacrifice ours life’s for Allah. Why can humans do soo much for things and people who they love in this world but yet cant do anything for Allah. I remember when i was 12 i believe so. I had a hard time to wake up for fajr, but when i had a soccer tourney i would get up with no problems. Why? Because of love. The love i had for the game. At fagr time we should be jumping out of bed and praying realizing that we are worshiping our lord who has given has everything in life. He alone we worship, He alone do we ask for help.

Eye Opener

2006-03-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday began with me excited with the progress of ainly. I was tremendously happy with the progress we had in ainly. Therefore my Jummah khutba was going to be thanking Allah for giving us this chance of carrying the torch of Islam. All that drastically changed at lunch.

There was a dance in the middle of the rotunda. Like the usually, so I stepped aside and went to my lockers. Then a bunch of non-Muslims came up to me and ask me “isn’t dancing forbidden in your religion” and I explained to them to my best of my ability and told them though I am not a scholar. “Then I ask why?” They look at me, then the gaze wander off to the direction of the rotunda. “No reason.” I didn’t believe them I rushed to the rotunda and lo and behold it was Muslim guys and girls dancing. Some of these Muslim brothers and sister I regarded highly as leaders for ainly this year and the upcoming year. I felt a sharp pain, I couldn’t bear to watch, I went to my locker wanting to yell, wanting to ask Allah was it my fault, was I not sincere enough, did I not to a good job in carrying the torch of Allah.

My Jummah khutba changed I wanted to go rank on them. I wanted to tell them this is why innocent kids are dieing in Iraq, Sudan; this is why Muslims are being oppressed that every time u shake your booty another innocent life was lost. Allah does not change the state of the Ummah unless we change ourselves. We have so much opportunity here to make a difference but yet we don’t. We don’t! There are people dying out there getting hacked to pieces and what are we doing here. We all have a responsibility. We have to make an effort for change and if no one is affected by it remember that actions are based by intentions.

After the dance people kept on approaching me asking me what’s wrong. I just didn’t want to talk about; I was trying to be patience. Then one of the sisters came up to me, which participated in the dance and ask me what were doing with some upcoming program. I respect this sister a lot. Maybe that’s why I snapped. I know it was wrong of me but I snapped. I started yelling at her and saying stuff like I don’t care and I don’t want to work with people who put themselves before Allah. She looked at me and gave me a blank look. She knew I was right but she also knew they way I told her, was wrong, she stared at me even though it was less than a second I still cant get that stare out of my head, tears began to roll down her check then she just ran ran. I realized my mistake and I went to talk to her and I apologize we both realize that we had committed a mistake. I told her that we are all humans and we all make mistakes and it’s how we react to our mistakes that differentiate us from everyone else.

I decided to do the Jummah khutba about a test, this Dunya. I explain to everyone that this Dunya is just a test of how much we truly love Allah? How much are we willing to sacrifice for Allah? I also told them that in Islam u can have fun but in certain boundaries. Then in the second part of the khutba I told them that whoever made a mistake, go back to Allah and ask for forgiveness and seek his mercy.

Sheikh Hamza Yusuf said it the best that there is two types of people in this world one who has the Dunya in his heart and the others have the Dunya in their hands. Lets control the Dunya, and not let the Dunya control us.

2006-03-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

I came to Calgary this weekend so I can get away from the events of my life. I wasnt running away from them but just needed a break, a new perspective, so I can come back with re-newed hope and energy. Sometimes all we need is a break from our own reality to realize how small and insignificant our problems are compared to others who have it tougher, or millions in Africa or Iraq or other war plagued countries. Or simply a break to raise our energy back again.

I chilled with my cousins, watched so many moives, learned a few things about life - about never giving up, living up to your own dreams, never lose hope because hope leads to only good things, and..... ate my cousins tasty greek salad!!!! In the one movie, Bend it like Beckham, the character fought for what was her dream. So many of us live for what others will think of us or want us to do, like do it for our parents or someone else, but its not what we really want to do. It was inspiring watching the character fight for what mattered to her because at the end of the day, the smiles will disappear if we're doing it for the wrong reasons. And in Shawshank Redemption, the man was wrongly accused for murder and spent I think it was 20 years in prison and didnt lose hope for one moment. We've been told to be patient and perservere but how many of us really do patiently perservere?!?!...the man in the moive did and in the end, he got back everything he put in....

This weekend has been good and its helped me out a lot, alhumdulillah I came. I see there is no point in being depressed and sad. No point in throwing away my energy. We are here for Allahs swt sake, no one elses. I dont want to live up to anyone else's expectations of me except my own and those that Allah swt has prescribed for us all. And I never want to lose hope...as much as it hurts to be kicked down and I want to let go...there is a great benefit if we keep going with the hope of seeing the light or prize at the end. And I also see that it takes a nobler man/woman to continue to treat one who's hurt us so badly with kindness and respect...I mean, they are still one of Allahs swt creation, so who am I to be harsh back then.

I'm a bit random today....maybe it was the tasty greek salad, who knows. Salaams.

2006-02-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

Dreams sometimes get shattered then u have two options whine and do nothing or step up and have the courage to dream once again.

Graduating high school

2006-02-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

Grad pictures are coming up and I need a Grad quote so if anyone has any good quotes make sure u leave it cuz rite now I think I am going to go with “there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is his last and final messenger.” But I don’t know if that is going to be good for Da wah, it just might confuse ppl. I want a quote that will get people thinking about life and changing their perspective on it. Maybe I am aiming to high with a simple quote.

Grad I didn’t want to take the pics or even go to commencement but peer pressure prevailed actually it was a few people who I love dearly which wanted to see me graduate and it would mean a lot to them. So I said it wont hurt and I would make a couple ppl happy why not.

Why am I not hype for grad, I guess cuz I don’t feel like I accomplish anything. WOWS applaud me, I did a couple of courses and I got over 50% so I get some certificate. I don’t see a big achievement, maybe when I graduate from some university it would be tremendously more exciting, But rite now big deal that I am graduating high school.

A day that frightens me but also gives me a purpose. That’s the day I want to graduate with flying colors. That’s the day where I will be excited for graduating. When I don’t get a certificate but I receive the book in my right hand. That will be the day I am jumping with joy and I will be saying “HERE!! Read my record! Surely, I did believe that I shall meet my Account!” (Surah Al-Haqqah)

Patience I am going to have to wait for that day but in the mean time I should be ranking in marks so I am successful in that day of judgment and a good step to that goal is coming up with a amazing quote that could have the potential of changing someone’s life. Therefore leave a quote in the comment section or email me any good quotes that u know of.

Poem

2006-02-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

By: Faiza Kaleem
Islam is peace Islam is ease,
Islam's not danger or disease
Islam is love and prosperity
Islam's not hatred or adversity
Islam is salvation through repentance
Islam has love for all in abundance
Islam means no harm or affliction
Islam implores you with affection
Islam is neither maze nor craze
Islam is giving Allah all praise
Islam is acing through the race
Islam will be on everyone's face
Islam is worshipping only the Creator
Islam's not mere numbers on a calculator
Islam gives you power when you surrender
Islam's not a terrorist or for a pretender
Islam is patience and perseverance
Islam eases your vengeance through tolerance.
Islam is life for all eternity
Islam gives you respect, moreover dignity
Islam is winning hearts through honesty
Islam is giving openly in charity
Islam makes you wholesome and trustworthy
Islam is in wealth as well as in poverty
Islam is your shield against all evil
Islam is for your soul's retrieval
Islam not fundamentalism or fanaticism
Islam's not nationalism or racism
Wake up, people, Islam is here
Islam is here, so have no fear

Revealing All

2006-02-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Today was an odd day. It started out so perfect, I was working on my Arabic and talking to a person, we had an amazing convo about speeches and other stuff. We haven’t talk like that for a while. Then I go to English we had a double so I got all my French homework done. It was lunch at first I was so hyped about lunch because we had our Breaking Borders meeting and today the head of the committees were going to update us. Everything was going well, until a few brothers started insulting the meeting and saying how boring it is. I worked so hard for Allah sake to have the name of Islam fly with pride. That people well say, “WOW what is this breaking border club, they organize so many great events”. That people well realize that it was a Muslim initiative and that Islam is not about blowing urself up but it is about working together with other religions and cultures to make a peaceful society. It hurts, I convince a few brothers to come and the others went to the library. I expect so much from these brothers and today it felt like they stabbed me from behind. The other brothers who came and who always come are my true brothers and brothers I know I can always relay on. Khair inshallah I was down but I went to the meeting and we got some updates. Then it came time for us to present, we have been working on a script to present to culture fest. It got cut up and I know those who were criticizing it did not mean any harm but it really hurt from the inside, They totally missed the message. Whatever than I went to my Calm class and we started watching the Wedding singer we only finished 40 mins and I hated that 40 mins. It reminded of so many things that happened and my life. It was sad I could relate to the main character of the movie. After that I was down I just felt sick, felt depressed I went and prayed and my heart felt way better but I don’t know I was just down. I could not even smile. Something I love to do. That was my day at Harry Ainly School

These things were so little yet it had such a huge effect on my heart, brain and body. Why, I started to wonder why it had such a tremendous effect on me. It is because there been so many things that have been happening in my life for like the last 6 months that it just keeps on piling on that I snapped today that all my patience just ran out. SO rite now I have this aching pain in my heart, I am angry sad, upset, I feel betrayed, I feel like a failed everyone including myself, I feel rejected, and I feel alone. I feel frustration. I don’t know are these signs of depression. Am I depressed? My eyes are dry. My brain is dead, my heart is aching and my body is exhausted. I am not writing this for sympathy but for a wake up call for myself. I always give advice to people and tell them any tribulations Allah gives u a test and that we have to be prepare to ace that test. Well I guess for me is Exam week then and I have to GET up and wake myself up and ACE all the exams that Allah has given me and last 6 months. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH stop with my complaining life is amazing, I have so many thins that no one else has. WAKE up and get prepared for Allah’s test. I am going have to face all my problems head on I have been kind of ignoring all my problems and thinking it will solve itself but instead it hasn’t is just has piled up on me. So my first step is to go read the Quran and get my soul some rest and ease and some peace. Then I am going to identify all my problems and go and handle them. OH ALLAH THANK YO U FOR EVERYHTING U HAVE GIVEN ME AND ALLAH GIVE ME THE STRINGH TO OVERCOME ALL THE OBSTACLE S IN LIFE U HAVE SET FOR ME.

I feel so much better just writing down all my feelings my heart feels so much lighter.

P.s someone taught me today that when u ran away from ur problems it never gets solve but instead ur problems get more complicated and causes even more problems, so if u have a problem go and handle it before it gets too late.

2006-01-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

“Why are u such a lost child”. Those were the words of my brother couple days ago, I didn’t know whether he was joking or being serious all I know was his words were filled with truth. I have been so lost these past few months. I went to the RIS conference hoping to get my head straight and get my life back on track but instead I got tangled up even more. Last year if anyone asked what I was going to do with my life, I had all the answers. I was going to study engineering had someone in mind to get married with and go and study Arabic with. I new everything, but I guess we can plan all we want if it’s not what Allah has planned then it’s not happening.

Today at school I was in Library studying with good friends of mine and the whole topic of what u are doing came up. I said I was actually really contemplating going into Education. The looks that I got from there face, what are u doing ur ruing ur life. U can be an engineer and live a comfortable life instead u want to be a teacher. Who’s going to give there daughter to u. the gave me so many reason, why I should not go to education that I just blocked it out. I was so ignorant. I just ignored there advice because I ve heard it soo many times. That ur ruining ur life, think about the future and so on. Sometimes I just want to go into engineering why cuz it’s the easy way out and it makes everyone around me happy except for me. I Dunno I guess that’s life. But the few who understand me have given me outstanding advice saying I should pursue whatever I love. Tariq Suwadien said in RIS that got me thinking “if u go into something u don’t love u can succeed but u wont’ be creative”. If ur not creative how are u going to excel in that particular field and if u don’t excel how r u going to help Ummah. I guess I will wait to see what Allah has in stored for me.
Salaams

2006-01-19T18:17:00.000-08:00

How many times a day to u think about what people think of u?

2006-01-18T18:09:00.000-08:00

Often we can achieve an even better result when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don't give up after a mistake, when something doesn't come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we're not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished.
Sharon Salzberg, O Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004

2005-12-15T16:58:00.000-08:00

...

What is Failure?

2005-12-14T14:59:00.001-08:00

What is failure to you?
Couple nights ago, I was thinking about my life trying to see if my life is a success, but I struggle cuz I did not know what failure really is.

So the next day I ask my bros

Yawer -when u can’t complete a task
Youcef- the inability to achieve Ur goal
Osama -when u gave a hundred percent and yet u don’t achieve ur goal
Hadi -on the day of judgement when everyone receives their book in their right hand and u don’t
Aman- Failure

I always thought failure was when u fell down and don’t get back up. When u make a mistake and u don’t turn to Allah and repent and have the intent of not doing the same mistake again. Success to me was never giving up always fighting and struggling for what u believe in, but recently I have been doubting what I have been taught to believe since childhood, sometimes giving up is the hard part but it is needed for u not to fail. If u don’t let go and don’t give up it could ruin ur life and make it miserable for u and the people who u hold near and dear

I personally liked Hadi’s answer because that night when he told me I went and read surah Al-haqqa and man I was literally sweating and I could not sleep and all I was thinking about was how am I going to respond to Allah. I think Hadi’s meaning of failure is the most accurate to me cuz sometimes u have to give up someone or something in order to achieve paradise and order to achieve Allah’s love.

On a closing note I just want to thank all those brothers/sisters who have helped me out in times of need and always have been there for me. I also want to thank my parents because they do soooo much for us and don’t ask anything in return.
Oh Allah thank you and Thank you for letting me thank you Oh Allah u have giving me soooo much and whatever u have taking away from me u know best. Oh All-mighty let me continues to strive for ur deen and always give me the strength to stand up for the truth even if is where against myself. Oh Allah thank you, thank you, thank you.

2005-12-04T21:49:00.000-08:00

"The reward is sooo much sweeter when the path is soo much harder"

Time

2005-12-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

I wish to write to u, sooo much to tell u,but where has my time gone i am sooo busy. I enjoy being busy but I miss laying on my bed and pondering about life but no there is no time, no chance. Where has my time gone??

Busy

2005-11-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

Last week was jam pack
Monday:
Math 31 exam
Eng 30-1 essay exam
Physics 30 part 2 mc exam
Tuesday:
Math 31 midterm
Cont of Eng exam
Wed
Break Finally
Thursday:
Huge French Project presentation
Fri
Physics Quiz

2005-11-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

The Brothers

2005-11-26T14:46:00.000-08:00

2005-11-26T14:45:00.000-08:00

I loved those Puma shoes

2005-11-26T14:39:00.000-08:00

Dwud

2005-11-26T14:38:00.000-08:00

...

2005-11-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

Ikhwan Boyz

2005-11-25T19:24:00.002-08:00

Ahmed,Fahad,me

2005-11-25T19:24:00.001-08:00

Hadi,Osama,Aman,Nauman

2005-11-25T19:24:00.000-08:00

Me and HAdi

2005-11-25T19:23:00.002-08:00

Me, Mohammad,Kamil

2005-11-25T19:23:00.001-08:00

Soccer

2005-11-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

Road trip

2005-11-25T19:22:00.003-08:00

Calgary

2005-11-25T19:22:00.002-08:00

Hummer Baby

2005-11-25T19:22:00.001-08:00

BBq

2005-11-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

Taka olayin pool

2005-11-25T19:21:00.002-08:00

Billu, me and Sameer

2005-11-25T19:21:00.001-08:00

Me and Kamil

2005-11-25T19:21:00.000-08:00

me, Youcef, Billu , Ashraf

2005-11-25T19:20:00.001-08:00

2005-11-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

2005-11-25T19:19:00.001-08:00

Nahhid and Muntaka

2005-11-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

2005-11-25T19:18:00.002-08:00

Ski trip

2005-11-25T19:18:00.001-08:00

2005-11-25T19:18:00.000-08:00

Awards for our victory against the Sikhs

2005-11-25T19:17:00.002-08:00

Camp fire

2005-11-25T19:17:00.001-08:00

Ali and Aman

2005-11-25T19:17:00.000-08:00

Youcef

2005-11-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

Rebuliding Iraq

2005-11-25T19:15:00.003-08:00

Rebuliding Iraq

2005-11-25T19:15:00.002-08:00

Tracksuits

2005-11-25T19:15:00.001-08:00

Emaan 2003

2005-11-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

After swimming

2005-11-25T19:14:00.001-08:00

Farooq and Mohamaad

2005-11-25T19:14:00.000-08:00

Group shot

2005-11-25T19:13:00.001-08:00

Chillin on the Oilers bench

2005-11-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

Me, Kamil and Ahmed

2005-11-25T19:12:00.001-08:00

Volunteer appreciation dinner

2005-11-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

Brother Tamirs wedding

2005-11-25T19:09:00.000-08:00

In Red lbster

2005-11-25T19:08:00.001-08:00

Kamil, Hadi and Aman

2005-11-25T19:08:00.000-08:00

Aiyc first ski trip

Life

2005-11-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

“ Nawid Bachim wake up u have 30 min till the sunrises” My morning starts, with my father waking me up for Fajr. I woke up and I went to the bathroom to make Wudu (ablution). After I finished praying it was 8 so I started debating with myself if I should go to sleep or study. I have a lot of catching up to do, I am soooo behind. Tiredness overtook me and I decided to rest my eyes for 20 min. As I was resting my eyes I was thinking about someone really close to me. I remember that we had a convo about sleeping and how I advised that person that sleeping is another form of death and that we get enough sleep when we die. I forced my eyelids not to shut but I didn’t have the strength to get out of my warm cozy bed and face the cool morning air.

So I began to ponder about life. First I started think how I can hype up the Breaking Borders club. Thinking of what events to hold next. How to make the meetings more exciting? How to get people who have great potential for Islamic work to get more involved?

Dawud Wharnesbey is coming on Jan 6 or so. I was thinking whom I could get on the advertising committee that will actually put effort and time and advertising programs. How to advertise this upcoming program?

Then I began to become a captive of my imagination. I began thinking of the future dreaming about things that right now seem impossible but It made me realize that how people are so opposite these days. I know a lot of couples that get married and their life start to go downhill. Why? Marriage is so beautiful it is a Rahmaaa sent by Allah. Where has this beauty gone? Couple years ago (and I am telling this story because no one knows this brother except for my brother) a brother went and ask this girl for her hand and marriage, She said yes and they got engage. Now this brother would dress up for her every time they would go out. He would be very romantic to her. Buy her gifts and take her out. BAM they get married and all of this STOPSS!! Why? He doesn’t care about his looks, no more gifts and no more words of kindness. After he stopped all this, they begin to fight over pity issues. Man I am going to be different Inshallah. Before Marriage I am going to be nice, polite and caring but I don’t want the Girl to fall in love with my gifts, sweet words or my looks (which I don’t have to worry too much about). I want them to fall in love with me. With who I am. Then when we get married Inshallah I am going to be romantic, Gifts all over the place. Try to look the very best for my Wife.

I know words are cheap and that actually going through with it is tough but that’s why I publish this post on my blog so that it is a reminder to me at all times and Inshallah when the time comes ill step up to the plate.

Watch your thoughts because they become your words your words become your actions your action becomes your habits, which become your character, which will lead you to your destination.

Well I g2g my parents are getting very worried with me. They wonder why I spend soo much time on the Internet. They think it is MSN. Well I dunno what they will think when they find out ur the main cause. Well let’s hit the books.

Game day

2005-11-18T17:06:00.000-08:00

Ikhwaaaaaaaaaan ball today At 7:30
Even though I suck at basketball, I love the defense aspect of it, especially when the point guard from the opposing team is bringing the ball towards ur basket. When u go out an challenge him that ur the first line of defense if he passes u he passes the first line of defense but no fear u have u teammates well in my case my brothers backing me and up and covering up my fault.