Revealing All
Today was an odd day. It started out so perfect, I was working on my Arabic and talking to a person, we had an amazing convo about speeches and other stuff. We haven’t talk like that for a while. Then I go to English we had a double so I got all my French homework done. It was lunch at first I was so hyped about lunch because we had our Breaking Borders meeting and today the head of the committees were going to update us. Everything was going well, until a few brothers started insulting the meeting and saying how boring it is. I worked so hard for Allah sake to have the name of Islam fly with pride. That people well say, “WOW what is this breaking border club, they organize so many great events”. That people well realize that it was a Muslim initiative and that Islam is not about blowing urself up but it is about working together with other religions and cultures to make a peaceful society. It hurts, I convince a few brothers to come and the others went to the library. I expect so much from these brothers and today it felt like they stabbed me from behind. The other brothers who came and who always come are my true brothers and brothers I know I can always relay on. Khair inshallah I was down but I went to the meeting and we got some updates. Then it came time for us to present, we have been working on a script to present to culture fest. It got cut up and I know those who were criticizing it did not mean any harm but it really hurt from the inside, They totally missed the message. Whatever than I went to my Calm class and we started watching the Wedding singer we only finished 40 mins and I hated that 40 mins. It reminded of so many things that happened and my life. It was sad I could relate to the main character of the movie. After that I was down I just felt sick, felt depressed I went and prayed and my heart felt way better but I don’t know I was just down. I could not even smile. Something I love to do. That was my day at Harry Ainly School
These things were so little yet it had such a huge effect on my heart, brain and body. Why, I started to wonder why it had such a tremendous effect on me. It is because there been so many things that have been happening in my life for like the last 6 months that it just keeps on piling on that I snapped today that all my patience just ran out. SO rite now I have this aching pain in my heart, I am angry sad, upset, I feel betrayed, I feel like a failed everyone including myself, I feel rejected, and I feel alone. I feel frustration. I don’t know are these signs of depression. Am I depressed? My eyes are dry. My brain is dead, my heart is aching and my body is exhausted. I am not writing this for sympathy but for a wake up call for myself. I always give advice to people and tell them any tribulations Allah gives u a test and that we have to be prepare to ace that test. Well I guess for me is Exam week then and I have to GET up and wake myself up and ACE all the exams that Allah has given me and last 6 months. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH stop with my complaining life is amazing, I have so many thins that no one else has. WAKE up and get prepared for Allah’s test. I am going have to face all my problems head on I have been kind of ignoring all my problems and thinking it will solve itself but instead it hasn’t is just has piled up on me. So my first step is to go read the Quran and get my soul some rest and ease and some peace. Then I am going to identify all my problems and go and handle them. OH ALLAH THANK YO U FOR EVERYHTING U HAVE GIVEN ME AND ALLAH GIVE ME THE STRINGH TO OVERCOME ALL THE OBSTACLE S IN LIFE U HAVE SET FOR ME.
I feel so much better just writing down all my feelings my heart feels so much lighter.
P.s someone taught me today that when u ran away from ur problems it never gets solve but instead ur problems get more complicated and causes even more problems, so if u have a problem go and handle it before it gets too late.
These things were so little yet it had such a huge effect on my heart, brain and body. Why, I started to wonder why it had such a tremendous effect on me. It is because there been so many things that have been happening in my life for like the last 6 months that it just keeps on piling on that I snapped today that all my patience just ran out. SO rite now I have this aching pain in my heart, I am angry sad, upset, I feel betrayed, I feel like a failed everyone including myself, I feel rejected, and I feel alone. I feel frustration. I don’t know are these signs of depression. Am I depressed? My eyes are dry. My brain is dead, my heart is aching and my body is exhausted. I am not writing this for sympathy but for a wake up call for myself. I always give advice to people and tell them any tribulations Allah gives u a test and that we have to be prepare to ace that test. Well I guess for me is Exam week then and I have to GET up and wake myself up and ACE all the exams that Allah has given me and last 6 months. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH stop with my complaining life is amazing, I have so many thins that no one else has. WAKE up and get prepared for Allah’s test. I am going have to face all my problems head on I have been kind of ignoring all my problems and thinking it will solve itself but instead it hasn’t is just has piled up on me. So my first step is to go read the Quran and get my soul some rest and ease and some peace. Then I am going to identify all my problems and go and handle them. OH ALLAH THANK YO U FOR EVERYHTING U HAVE GIVEN ME AND ALLAH GIVE ME THE STRINGH TO OVERCOME ALL THE OBSTACLE S IN LIFE U HAVE SET FOR ME.
I feel so much better just writing down all my feelings my heart feels so much lighter.
P.s someone taught me today that when u ran away from ur problems it never gets solve but instead ur problems get more complicated and causes even more problems, so if u have a problem go and handle it before it gets too late.
posted by nawid at 4:29 PM
4 Comments:
Well ill start off by saying im happy to have helped you realize that the only way to solve a problem is to deal with it and not walk away from it. I feel ur frustration, pain, betrayal, and loneliness and i imagine many other people do as well. But the one that you can always count on is Allah to get you through your problems. Life has never been easy nor will it ever. Yes Alhamdullah were blessed to live comfortable lives but we have our own tests from Allah and there not always simple. I think your rite by acknowledging you have problems and trying to sort them out cuz honestly if you dont sort them out...no one else will. Oh and one more thing, no matter wat people say about your play or the club you have worked so hard for, it doesnt matter because Allah knows your true intentions and knows how hard you are trying:) so keep your head up and always SMILE
I completly understand the feeling. You work so hard, put your heart and soul into trying to spread the word of Islam, our deen, our happiness if only we followed it, and all this effort with such high hopes...and it just gets shot down. And you think to yourself the message of Allah swt is full of such truth, peace, forgiveness and that the moment those who havent heard it will fall in love with it too, and yet its like they went blind and deaf to everything they saw and heard. And it devastates you because you did all this for the sake of Allah swt but got no where with it. It hurts. Leaves you so weak and tired.
Imagine all our great Prophets pbu them and just what a difficult (but great) mission they had. For 23 years, which isnt even how old I am or you are Nawid, our Prophet Muhammad pbuh, tried to spread the word of Islam. And there he pbuh was, faced with criticism, rocks being thrown at him, threaten to be murdered, chased out of his home, etc...and for 23 years. 23! Like talk about pain and how much strength Allah swt blessed him with to continue. Kinda makes us think how easy we have it.
As you always say Nawid, you try to follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad pbuh, so I'm gonna give you your own advice and tell you to NEVER give up! The Prophets pbu them never gave up no matter how badly they were rejected and tormented, so we should follow the same and keep trying. Whether others stand by you or not, hey we're all accountable for ourselves on the Day, so you focus on what it is that you need to do. Besides, ppl will be ppl ya know, no matter how hard you try, attempting to please ppl is like a dog chasing his own tail...focus on only pleasing Allah swt.
And if you think no one is getting motivated or touched, no man, even if you affect just one person, like even spread a tiny bit of truth to one persons heart...thats so much...that lil bit could be spread to someone else, than someone else, who knows what kind of domino affect it could have. But the point is, dont ever give up...follow the example of the Prophets pbu them...
Keep the spirits up Nawid, remember, Allah swt is with you. (ahaha, I sound like a jedi.."the force is with you"...lol)
Hey, Im emailing from Yukon again!!! The weather was wonderful today!
today, I been having the type of the day you had last week and by reading your "postage" I can truly say it brought a smile to my face. Not because you had a shitty day, but because reminded me that I'm not alone going through the daily turbulance of life. CHEER UP AND KEEP IT REAL!!!
ps> at least you aint living in YUKON!!!
Yo yah i havent seen u in a while. When r u coming down from Yukon to visit me.
P.s Watch ur language.
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