Marriage
Why marriage? Why do I want to get married at such a young age?
A Hijabi came up to me and ask me the other day if I want to get married at a young age. I said, "yes" than she gave me this looked I was confused I couldn’t tell whether she was angry or disappointed. It was silent for like 2 secs even though it felt like way longer I could not help the silence and so I said "why what’s the matter". She shook her head and said
'Out of all the people I didn't expect this from u"
I said "what, I don’t understand"
She’s like well I thought u would be able to control ur hormones"
BAM I was shock I was speechless I didn’t know what to say I kept silent. Than she walked away but as she was leaving I mustered the courage to respond to her. I chased after her and told her "no first I want to get married young but I won't just marry any ordinary girl if the right girl comes along what is the point to wait. Than i said second if I have found this right girl I would want to get married young because i want to be a role model in society. Now a day’s u see girlfriends and boyfriends in the hallways and Muslims come up to me and say why can’t we have this kind of relationship. I say u do when u get married. They always began to laugh at me Marriage i'l be 30 when that happens. The prophet told us to make marriage easy and Zena hard but today in this society Zena is easy and marriage is hard. How backwards we are. I want to get married young so that I can also be a role model in society that u can be 18 and i have a wonderful life. Imagine walking in the hallways of ainly with ur wife. People asking u about who’s that ur girlfriend and ur like no my wife. Showing society that u can get married and that u still can become an engineer u still can play sports that u still can help out the society. In order to change the mindset of society u need to show them that it can happen that u can marry young and have a better life than if u didn't get married.It will also enourage those who r young but mature, and have found the right person to go ahead and get married.
A Hijabi came up to me and ask me the other day if I want to get married at a young age. I said, "yes" than she gave me this looked I was confused I couldn’t tell whether she was angry or disappointed. It was silent for like 2 secs even though it felt like way longer I could not help the silence and so I said "why what’s the matter". She shook her head and said
'Out of all the people I didn't expect this from u"
I said "what, I don’t understand"
She’s like well I thought u would be able to control ur hormones"
BAM I was shock I was speechless I didn’t know what to say I kept silent. Than she walked away but as she was leaving I mustered the courage to respond to her. I chased after her and told her "no first I want to get married young but I won't just marry any ordinary girl if the right girl comes along what is the point to wait. Than i said second if I have found this right girl I would want to get married young because i want to be a role model in society. Now a day’s u see girlfriends and boyfriends in the hallways and Muslims come up to me and say why can’t we have this kind of relationship. I say u do when u get married. They always began to laugh at me Marriage i'l be 30 when that happens. The prophet told us to make marriage easy and Zena hard but today in this society Zena is easy and marriage is hard. How backwards we are. I want to get married young so that I can also be a role model in society that u can be 18 and i have a wonderful life. Imagine walking in the hallways of ainly with ur wife. People asking u about who’s that ur girlfriend and ur like no my wife. Showing society that u can get married and that u still can become an engineer u still can play sports that u still can help out the society. In order to change the mindset of society u need to show them that it can happen that u can marry young and have a better life than if u didn't get married.It will also enourage those who r young but mature, and have found the right person to go ahead and get married.
posted by nawid at 11:58 PM
18 Comments:
A wise man from Ancient Greece once said something to the effect of:
Show me a man in love and I'll show you a man who is utterly useless.
or something like that. :P lol I kid though.
No ur rite when someone is in love they lose focus on important tasks that lie ahead of them. They become useless and that’s something I want to stay away from.
Marry young and Bam ur effective. Everything becomes clear u know what to do and u don’t have something lingering in the back of ur mind.
Muntaka I am glad u brought that up and yes sometimes the truth hurts but it has to be said.
Love without Marriage=uselessness
Love with Marriage (at a young age)=indescribable
salaaams
Agreed agreed.
Without the beautiful framework of marriage, "love" leads men to ruin. In the framework of marriage however, love turns a man into an extremely focused individual who has everything he needs and knows what he must do and where he must go.
*crosses arms stubbornly* bah humbug...love is superficial and marriage creates nothing!! stupid boys and thier belief in a better tomorrow just because...*dies down in uncomprehensive mumbling*
lol.
and who is this sister you speak of that you had this ever so interesting/touchy conversation with hm??
Oh Hafsah stop raining on the parade!
Plus don't be so nosey! tsk tsk! *shakes head in disaprovement*
marriage is not childs play
it requires a lot of hard work, a lot of effort, commitment, sacrifice, ability to handle difficult situations, maturity and most of all patience..
Marry in high school but what are you going to live on? think practically you can't eat your grades, you can't make your family wear dreams, you can't feed them ideas.. at the end of the day they have material needs..
Everything looks all nice and fancy from the outside but once you step into the realm of marriage you'll understand that it requires much more than mere emotions... Holding hands with your spouse down the high school hallway sounds very pleasing indeed but once the euphoric stage is over your marriage will require practical material.
I may sound harsh and I agree getting married young has lots of benifits but I'm just trying to show you the other side of the coin..
AA
I understand totally about what marriage is that its not just chilling but "it requires a lot of hard work, a lot of effort, commitment, sacrifice, ability to handle difficult situations, maturity and most of all patience".I just wanted to thank u for advicing me and showing me the other side of the coin. I have thought and pondered over this issues for tremendoues amount and time and i havae reached the conclusion that if u have foind the right person and are mature that u should go aheed and get married.
I definitely agree with desert rose.
Marriage at a young age has its benefits, but sometimes has more cons than pros. For example, how are you going to be able to support your family? How are you going to deal with all the responsibilities that come along with it? How and what if?
Also, your maturity level will change as the years go by and you'll see things from a different perspective.(not exactly sure how old you are, so it may differ)
Right now, you've found the "right" person, but maybe in the future she won't be the "right" person anymore.
If you actually have found the right person, then wait. Don't ruin it by rushing into things. Wait until you're done uni and you've got a career.
Just some advice...
Thank u for ur advice and I will take it to heart. I have weighed the pros and cons and I believe that marrying young is way more beneficial. U bring up a good point with a person changing perspective of life. I think if u marry young than u can mould ur spouses perspective on certain issues that both of u are willing to compromise. Thank for the advice though i will surely consider it.
Its funny how no one posted a comment supporting Marriage at a young age. I guess society has got to us. jk
What if she's not willing to compromise?
AA
Then i guess she is not the right person. When you look for a spouse u need to learn their point of view over certain issues. You need to figure out if u can live a happy life with that person. When ur young u don’t have a firm perspective on life and that when u go through trials u can change ur views. When u marry young than u and ur spouse go through things together therefore ur perspective on life changes the same way.
Although I see everyone point against marrying young (and they are very valid points, supporting a spouce would be difficult while still in school, along with all the other points made) I fail to carry on your prespective. I have to agree with Nawid, I believe that you can only benefit from marrying young. I feel as though by marrying you are seeking nearness to Allah. It will only benefit you because you can carry on your life knowing that it is no long just you against the world, you have your wife/husband by your side. If you were to find the "right" person for you, then I believe Allah is intiating that you are to get married. If you were to carry on just "getting to know" this girl what would be the difference between you and all the other's who are dating. In the end, if you have faith in yourself, your spouce, and Allah I believe he would help make things work in your benefit. Not everything would automatically be easier, i realize this, but then again all the problems we face in life are only to make us stronger and better muslims, these problems are only to test our faith in Allah. So whether or not you are married, you will face trials and tribulations in your life and I do not believe the fear of not being able to support your wife, or either of your perspective changing as you grow older and face difficulties in life should stop you from the happiness marriage can bring to ones life.
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I agree with unknown.
I didn't mean don't get married young.
I am all for getting married young but with a support system. I meant to say be practical. If both partners are mature enough to handle responsibilities of married life, if both are willing to compromise, if both understand that things will be hard for a while since both are studying then there is nothing that should stop anyone from marrying young..
I did not say you need to have a career, just have something though. Remember first make an effort yourself then tawakal Allah.
what about getting engaged?!?! its like having a 'halal boyfriend' without the financial/social/educational
'hardships':D:D:D:D
no? okay...uh...i'll leave now. :S
well not really
Nikah/Kitab is like halal dating but not engagment cause he is still non-mehrum and should be treated as one
Inshallah you will find the right woman soon and marry her, I would be tremendously happy to see a young brother in our community married early to set an example to others.
salam,
you know, i find it somewhat strange that people automatically suppose that plunging into an early marriage will solve all our problems. of course, it has benefits, but again, there is the whole practicality issue, in fact, i heard a sheikh explain that a man is ready to marry when he becomes a qawwam (according to Ali radiy Allahu 'anh, when he can "satiate the fire of hunger by any means he desires" or something like that). though i tend to agree with early marriages principally, it becomes a very sensitive issue, and requires much guidance and thought. i guess, my point is don't just jump into an early marriage because it seems more "islamic," but remember that this issue has many important facets, and isn't as simple, perhaps, as it may seem
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