“Why are u such a lost child”. Those were the words of my brother couple days ago, I didn’t know whether he was joking or being serious all I know was his words were filled with truth. I have been so lost these past few months. I went to the RIS conference hoping to get my head straight and get my life back on track but instead I got tangled up even more. Last year if anyone asked what I was going to do with my life, I had all the answers. I was going to study engineering had someone in mind to get married with and go and study Arabic with. I new everything, but I guess we can plan all we want if it’s not what Allah has planned then it’s not happening.

Today at school I was in Library studying with good friends of mine and the whole topic of what u are doing came up. I said I was actually really contemplating going into Education. The looks that I got from there face, what are u doing ur ruing ur life. U can be an engineer and live a comfortable life instead u want to be a teacher. Who’s going to give there daughter to u. the gave me so many reason, why I should not go to education that I just blocked it out. I was so ignorant. I just ignored there advice because I ve heard it soo many times. That ur ruining ur life, think about the future and so on. Sometimes I just want to go into engineering why cuz it’s the easy way out and it makes everyone around me happy except for me. I Dunno I guess that’s life. But the few who understand me have given me outstanding advice saying I should pursue whatever I love. Tariq Suwadien said in RIS that got me thinking “if u go into something u don’t love u can succeed but u wont’ be creative”. If ur not creative how are u going to excel in that particular field and if u don’t excel how r u going to help Ummah. I guess I will wait to see what Allah has in stored for me.
Salaams

How many times a day to u think about what people think of u?

Often we can achieve an even better result when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don't give up after a mistake, when something doesn't come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we're not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished.
Sharon Salzberg, O Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004