I hate this feeling! That feeling when you give a 100% effort but still fall short. Today i had a chem exam, and in order for me to get honors with distinction this term i needed to get 95% on this test. I studied hard, three days, that's way too much for me. I usually never study and if i do it’s on the day of the exam. This exam was different i studied and i knew everything, i knew more than what i needed to know. I did a couple of unit exams of the key before i went and allhamduiAllah i got 96 and 93 percent. I felt confident going into the exam. I went in i was going through the questions like usual pretty simple, but then a chem class came in to do a lab. I just ignored the noise continued on writing my exams. I began doubting myself, with the previous questions, so i went back to check them, Then i started to run out of time. i don’t know it was chaotic. I think i failed that exam, all my efforts gone down the drain. Then to add icing on the day i had, i had a brother accuse me of him missing his Zhur prayer. I don’t know i had enough and i flip out on him. But he took it well allhamduiallah; actually all i wanted was for him to say sorry. All i wanted was for him to catch me. Sometimes u don’t get what, you want but that’s life and we have to choices either i sulk here and give up because i didn’t get that honors with distinction, and let a brother be angry with me. Or i can put a smile on and realizes that we can plan but if is not what Allah plan then its never happening and i also should go and patch up my brotherhood, because even though he didn’t say anything and still had a smile on his face. Sometimes thing u say will hurt someone and simply apologizing sincerely, would heal the pain.

Article

Trials and Tribulations: Exercise for our Soul
By. Saman Ahmed

A cocoon stirs with signs of life. An opening appears, and you watch as the winged creature inside struggles to emerge from a small tear in the sack of life. Striving to free itself, the butterfly labors for what seems an eternity. You reflect on how easy it would be to simply break off the rest of the cocoon, thus aiding the butterfly with an easy passage to a new world. Gently tearing the rest of the cocoon, you stare in wonder as the creature crawls out with little effort. You wait patiently for it to spread its wings and take flight, but the butterfly only drags its swollen body and shriveled wings around in the dirt. It never does take flight and spends the rest of its life crawling around, weak and crippled. When you thought you were helping the butterfly, you were actually preventing it from a necessary struggle, a struggle that would force fluid from its body into its wings so that it could be ready to fly, once out of the cocoon. The hardship it would go through would, in turn, make it stronger in life.
The parable I just related to you is a fairly popular metaphor, often used as a tool in inspirational talks about overcoming obstacles. But what does it mean to the Muslim? It means that if Allah (SWT) allowed us to sail through life without hardship, it would weaken us. Every trial we go through – every family problem, financial problem, every bout of illness – has the potential to make us stronger in the end.

As difficult as it may be to understand, there is goodness in all our trials. Suhaib reported that Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it." What we learn from this hadith is that there really is a silver lining to every cloud. That is, in His infinite mercy, Allah (SWT) has made it possible for something positive to come out of a seemingly negative situation. If we turn to Allah (SWT) and approach our hardships with patience and restraint, then certainly something good will come out of them, whether it is in this life, the Hereafter, or both.

So, how does pain amount to pleasure? Think back to the first time you went to the gym. You lifted weights, jogged on the treadmill, and came home exhausted and sore and wondering what lapse of sanity caused you to go to the gym in the first place. But you always return because obviously all those chiseled biceps and impeccable pecs you were surrounded by were not a result of lying on the sofa. As time goes on, the pain is always there – the burning muscles, the aching limbs – but it becomes easier and easier to endure and harder and harder to reach your threshold, to break a sweat. And, you finally start to notice the muscle mass you've gained, not to mention the extra strength and energy you always have. What you once considered painful is now simply a means to a desired goal, something painful you must endure to attain physical strength. Similarly our souls are, in a sense, in need of struggle. Trials and tribulations are a form of exercise for our soul. We must go through the pain and endure it patiently to attain our ultimate goal, Jannah. And, if trials and tribulations are exercise for our soul, then the more we go through them, all the while exercising patience and trusting in Allah's decree, the stronger our souls become. Suddenly the small worries and problems that pop up in life seem like no big deal. Why? Because we have increased our soul's threshold to bear afflictions. It will now take bigger problems for us to really break a sweat.

We must notice that the key element here is to bear hardship with patience. And to do that, we should recognize that the hardship or affliction is by the decree of Allah. We must restrain ourselves from complaining and lamenting and remember that our final return is to Him. Allah says: "Give glad-tidings to those who have sabr. Those who - when afflicted with an affliction - say: Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return. They are those on whom are the blessings from their Lord and His mercy. They are the ones who are guided"(2:155-157). In this ayah, Allah (SWT) makes clear what kind of people are rewarded with glad-tidings and are under His guidance. It is none other than those who accept their affliction with patience, as a test from Allah (SWT), and recognize that we indeed belong to Him and shall consequently return to Him. Try and remember this ayah the next time you are faced with an unexpected trial in life. Instead of unleashing a vicious string of profanities and cursing everything under the sun, simply say Innalilahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return). This phrase will serve as a beautiful reminder, a reminder of where you come from and where you will ultimately end up, thus making your problem seem a little less dire in the larger scope of things.

How lucky am i?

Sometimes in life we get so caught with all the tribulations where facing, that we forget all the good things we have in life. Something that i would never give up, is that brotherhood. Always having brothers supporting you. Actually to be honest and having those sisters priceless advice. Whether it is about marriage, standing up for my principals or never giving up. They’re always giving me, supporting me and directing me to the right path. I can’t believe how fortunate am i to have such brothers and sisters. There always there for me, they’re always giving me advice, they are always there to catch me every time I fall.

Sometimes we forget the blessings of Allah and sulk about the test where going through. How ungrateful slaves are we to Allah. You have giving us sooo much and have promised us sooo much more and yet we complain and yet we don’t worship and yet we don’t love u and yet we makes excuses so that we may not serve u. I look back at my life and look at the people who i love. Why do i love these people? My parents because they raised me and provide for me. My brothers and sisters who are always there watching my back. Then i looked at what i could do for my parents. I realized when u love someone u can do anything for them. U will sacrifice anything for them. Do I love Allah, from the bottom of my heart? Allah has given me everything He is everything. He gave me life, I can only turn to him for help, and He Has all the answers. Yet why don’t I sacrifice my time for Him? Why don’t i get up in the middle of the night and pray Tahajid. What kind of slave am I. Why do we hesitate to do something for Allah? When we don’t think twice to do something in this world for a loved one. How lucky am i? This world is a test to see how much we love Allah, The more we claim. The more Allah tests us. Why can Romeo sacrifice his life for Juliet and we cant sacrifice ours life’s for Allah. Why can humans do soo much for things and people who they love in this world but yet cant do anything for Allah. I remember when i was 12 i believe so. I had a hard time to wake up for fajr, but when i had a soccer tourney i would get up with no problems. Why? Because of love. The love i had for the game. At fagr time we should be jumping out of bed and praying realizing that we are worshiping our lord who has given has everything in life. He alone we worship, He alone do we ask for help.

Eye Opener

Yesterday began with me excited with the progress of ainly. I was tremendously happy with the progress we had in ainly. Therefore my Jummah khutba was going to be thanking Allah for giving us this chance of carrying the torch of Islam. All that drastically changed at lunch.

There was a dance in the middle of the rotunda. Like the usually, so I stepped aside and went to my lockers. Then a bunch of non-Muslims came up to me and ask me “isn’t dancing forbidden in your religion” and I explained to them to my best of my ability and told them though I am not a scholar. “Then I ask why?” They look at me, then the gaze wander off to the direction of the rotunda. “No reason.” I didn’t believe them I rushed to the rotunda and lo and behold it was Muslim guys and girls dancing. Some of these Muslim brothers and sister I regarded highly as leaders for ainly this year and the upcoming year. I felt a sharp pain, I couldn’t bear to watch, I went to my locker wanting to yell, wanting to ask Allah was it my fault, was I not sincere enough, did I not to a good job in carrying the torch of Allah.

My Jummah khutba changed I wanted to go rank on them. I wanted to tell them this is why innocent kids are dieing in Iraq, Sudan; this is why Muslims are being oppressed that every time u shake your booty another innocent life was lost. Allah does not change the state of the Ummah unless we change ourselves. We have so much opportunity here to make a difference but yet we don’t. We don’t! There are people dying out there getting hacked to pieces and what are we doing here. We all have a responsibility. We have to make an effort for change and if no one is affected by it remember that actions are based by intentions.

After the dance people kept on approaching me asking me what’s wrong. I just didn’t want to talk about; I was trying to be patience. Then one of the sisters came up to me, which participated in the dance and ask me what were doing with some upcoming program. I respect this sister a lot. Maybe that’s why I snapped. I know it was wrong of me but I snapped. I started yelling at her and saying stuff like I don’t care and I don’t want to work with people who put themselves before Allah. She looked at me and gave me a blank look. She knew I was right but she also knew they way I told her, was wrong, she stared at me even though it was less than a second I still cant get that stare out of my head, tears began to roll down her check then she just ran ran. I realized my mistake and I went to talk to her and I apologize we both realize that we had committed a mistake. I told her that we are all humans and we all make mistakes and it’s how we react to our mistakes that differentiate us from everyone else.

I decided to do the Jummah khutba about a test, this Dunya. I explain to everyone that this Dunya is just a test of how much we truly love Allah? How much are we willing to sacrifice for Allah? I also told them that in Islam u can have fun but in certain boundaries. Then in the second part of the khutba I told them that whoever made a mistake, go back to Allah and ask for forgiveness and seek his mercy.

Sheikh Hamza Yusuf said it the best that there is two types of people in this world one who has the Dunya in his heart and the others have the Dunya in their hands. Lets control the Dunya, and not let the Dunya control us.

I came to Calgary this weekend so I can get away from the events of my life. I wasnt running away from them but just needed a break, a new perspective, so I can come back with re-newed hope and energy. Sometimes all we need is a break from our own reality to realize how small and insignificant our problems are compared to others who have it tougher, or millions in Africa or Iraq or other war plagued countries. Or simply a break to raise our energy back again.

I chilled with my cousins, watched so many moives, learned a few things about life - about never giving up, living up to your own dreams, never lose hope because hope leads to only good things, and..... ate my cousins tasty greek salad!!!! In the one movie, Bend it like Beckham, the character fought for what was her dream. So many of us live for what others will think of us or want us to do, like do it for our parents or someone else, but its not what we really want to do. It was inspiring watching the character fight for what mattered to her because at the end of the day, the smiles will disappear if we're doing it for the wrong reasons. And in Shawshank Redemption, the man was wrongly accused for murder and spent I think it was 20 years in prison and didnt lose hope for one moment. We've been told to be patient and perservere but how many of us really do patiently perservere?!?!...the man in the moive did and in the end, he got back everything he put in....

This weekend has been good and its helped me out a lot, alhumdulillah I came. I see there is no point in being depressed and sad. No point in throwing away my energy. We are here for Allahs swt sake, no one elses. I dont want to live up to anyone else's expectations of me except my own and those that Allah swt has prescribed for us all. And I never want to lose hope...as much as it hurts to be kicked down and I want to let go...there is a great benefit if we keep going with the hope of seeing the light or prize at the end. And I also see that it takes a nobler man/woman to continue to treat one who's hurt us so badly with kindness and respect...I mean, they are still one of Allahs swt creation, so who am I to be harsh back then.

I'm a bit random today....maybe it was the tasty greek salad, who knows. Salaams.